Just the Fax

I got a VERY IMPORTANT fax the other day.

That’s right, a fax.

Not familiar with the term? Well, gather ‘round the fire children and I’ll tell you about the fax machine. Back in the old days, us crusty old people communicated by fax. You typed up something on a typewriter or computer or just hand wrote a note, then you put it in the fax machine, which (and I had to look this up) scans the image or text, converts the black and white scan to audio tones, that, in turn, tell the fax machine on the other end what to print.

That’s the screeching you hear when a fax comes over.

Almost no one uses a fax machine anymore, except us, which is to say this newspaper, and apparently some creeper that sends us (and I am not making this up) 30 page faxes about once a week, all of which tell me the world is going to end in some way or another.

I typically just sigh and grab the pile of papers and throw them out, but this one caught my eye.

Because it told me I should be dead much sooner than I expected. And no, not a a Russian nuke, either.

I’m going to get AIDS, it said. Why?

Because I did a dumb thing and went and got triple vaccinated for Covid-19.

The triple vaccinated ARE JUST WEEKS AWAY FROM DEVELOPING FULL BLOWN AIDS … the fax announced.

I have no idea how a vaccine for one virus is going to give me the disease of a completely other virus (unless the needle was somehow contaminated and had been jabbing an AIDS patient) but I did what any sane person would do.

I started preparing for my death. I wrote a will. Said my goodbyes. And took out the garbage.

I jest of course.

I went for a hike, which is what I always do when things look like they’re going TO GO SOUTH.

There were a few birds to be seen, some nice blue skies and fluffy clouds, perhaps it’s was just the calm before … THE NEXT FAX.

Have a good week.

——

So I went on the recreation.gov website to see how easy, or difficult, as the case may be, to get a reservation for the Polebridge Entrance to Glacier National Park or the Sun Road this summer. Polebridge filled very, very quickly. When I bought my ticket shortly after 8 a.m. for May 27, it showed there were only 30 left. There aren’t that many parking spots at Bowman or Kintla Lakes, so I suspect there’s not many reservations to begin with.

The Sun Road was a different story. Those reservations took awhile to sell out and I was even able to buy a ticket for July 5 this morning, even at mid-morning.

The key to all of this is to be registered with recreation.gov well before you want to get a reservation.

My only gripe with the system is it doesn’t store your credit card info. On the other hand, I’m not sure I want the feds to be storing my credit card info anyway.