Starvin' stud

Another classic column from G. George Ostrom. This one is from Aug. 16, 1968.

I’ve never attempted to keep a list of the different modifications thrown my way by part time comedians but the other day a fella who is a captain in the highway patrol for some big eastern state said, “Oh! So you’re George Ostrom. Well, I sure do get a kick out of that column you write for the ‘Starvin’ Stud’ newspaper.”

That remark reminded me of some of the other alterations that are possible and I decided to try and write them down. Here’s the list: emaciated mustang, famished filly, craving colt, thirsty thoroughbred, bony bronco, malnutritioned mare, stultified steed, puny pony, unfed unicorn, perishing pinto, skinny whinny, undernourished nag, shriveled Shetland, fasting foal, austere appaloosa, stunted stallion, chowless charger and, lastly for those who prefer a non-gendered name, we have gluttonous gelding.

After sizing up this list, I think that Hungry Horse is still the best choice for the long haul. The Spanish has a more lilting ring, Hambriento Caballo, and Swedish is quite close to our own pronunciation, Hungrig Hast. I hope this discussion covers the subject well enough that we can consider the topic closed for some time to come.

It was hoped by some that the poll takers would relax a bit between now and the November elections, but I see where they’re just as bust as ever.

This week’s state poll is on “If you were voting for governor right now, who would you choose?”

When the results of this are published, it will give us some vague idea of who might be elected if the election was held now… which it ain’t. Personally, I’d rather see a poll taken on whether polls sway candidates or candidates sway polls.

I think the results would convincingly prove that over 62 percent of all political polls are like power poles — their butts are in the ground and they’re held in the proper position by guy wires.