Election views

It was a wonderful relief to get the “Donald versus Hillary” election over with on the eighth of this month. One more week of those ridiculous ads that insulted all thinking citizens could have led to a great increase in serious drinking or worse.

This year’s fiasco was the worst (lowest) in my memory. HOWEVER, because most of us have blessedly short memories of American political history, I have chosen to refresh your recollections, and mine, regarding the “Presidential Year” campaigns 20 years ago. You may be a bit surprised ad certainly amused by my post-election ramblings from 1996. Let us go back:

Was going to run a list this week of the silly lies, the lies by innuendo, the implied lies, the lies of ignorance, and the plain mean outright lies, which were part of the just ended political campaign; however, the three double spaced sheets I usually submit to the paper each week could only cover a few of the silly lies used in the last week of major races.

Conclusion was that a full in-depth expose would take at least 600 pages. Thought here is, that specific subject would make a good doctorate thesis for some aspiring university student who didn’t mind wallowing in the muck and mire for a few semesters. The warming up master’s degree would cover the big side issues such as how much Baucus really pays for his haircuts.

Walking down the Main Street of the county seat on voting day (Tuesday) produced several hot tips regarding the races which were being decided by the voters.

One guy told me, “Clinton is so sure of winning, he has started dating again.” Conversation at the coffee shop swung around to the Hill vs. Yellowtail contest for our single seat in the U.S. House. Four of the guys felt that Hill’s romance with a cocktail waitress was not as black a mark as Yellowtail beating his wife and not making child support payments. Two more assumed that position when they learned it was Hill’s ex-wife who fed the romance story to the media.

The conversation somehow then strayed onto legitimate reasons for having a romance with someone who works in a cocktail lounge and it was agreed that some of the nicest people and ... well-built people, follow that line of work.

One fella pointed out that working in bars is the best paying job many women can find and there is certainly no valid reason for picking on cocktail waitresses.

After hearing several testimonies, the entire group decided there were plenty of ladies serving drinks out there who would make darn good Congresswomen.

A new arrival to the coffee circle thought we were discussing social affairs and put in a plug for the upcoming annual Lutefisk Dinner in Bigfork. One fella said he might go but he wasn’t eating any of that stuff that was soaked in lye. Oysten Boveng was asked howcum the fish is soaked in lye and he told us the custom was started by St. Patrick in Ireland when the raiding Vikings were down there eating all the potatoes and fish.

The Irishmen decided to ruin the fish by soaking it in lye, but instead of hating the stuff, the Norwegians liked it even more. Several members of Norsk extraction seemed to agree this was a fairly correct version of the story, and it was pointed out that Mike Strand’s father came from Norway.

Mike mentioned that most Norwegians landed in New York but very few stayed there. He said that most of them wandered around until they found someplace as cold and miserable as Norway ... North Dakota and Eastern Montana.

George Ostrom is an award-winning columnist. He lives in Kalispell.