Getting the dizzies

If there are folks out there who sometimes think I am a bit dizzy, you should have been at the Conrad Mansion last Thursday evening when I was giving a speech on “Ostrom’s Adventures in Glacier.” I’d had a little bit tougher day than normal after getting off work and doing a few chores around the house, then had an exhausting time getting a heavy load of books through the snow from my car to the Mansion.

The well-attended gathering was to raise money for the Mansion and the Glacier Institute. With a receptive audience and some dandy memories to recall, time flew by rapidly and I’d been on my feet over an hour when the rarest of events happened. I COULDN’T TALK … and felt dizzy. A couple of medic-type people helped me to a chair and checked me over. They decided I might be overly exhausted. Someone had called 911 and the ambulance team was there in a flash. All the time I was feeling better and embarrassed. Such a thing had never happened before in my 87- plus years of talking.

Luckily, the dizzies happened near the end of my speech so Iris took me home and put me to bed. Somehow, the news of my problem got around and in the morning my kids called up to bawl me out for not taking it easier. I’m writing about the incident so anyone who cares will know I am fine and the Mansion and the Institute made some money. Now I’ll take the easy way out on column writing and run one from 30 ago:

The valedictorian of Kingwood High in Houston, Texas was not allowed to sit up front and address his graduating class … or even get his diploma with the others. Some of you read about Mike Woosley’s troubles and just forgot it, but I think the caper deserves serious diagnosis. 

During the last week of regular school, Mike collected enough money from his friends to hire a professional “stripper” to enter the school disguised as a policewoman and then do her thing in his physics class.

Mike was subsequently suspended from school for what administrators called, “creating a major disruption of the instructional day.” He was also accused of “lying” for telling school officials that his shapely guest would be making an “educational presentation.”

I feel Mike was telling the truth when he used the term “educational presentation,” in fact I thought his entire plan showed unusual imagination, and interest in the enlightenment of others; however, two days after this event I polled my morning coffee group regarding their judgment and seven supported the school’s action against Mike. 

Only two thought it overly harsh with one of them suggesting Mike should have been allowed to attend graduation but not to make the valedictory speech.

If for no other reason, I’m glad Mike brought a stripper for “show and tell” because until that happened, I had not the faintest inkling I was hanging around with a bunch of fuddy duddies.

Life is good.

G. George Ostrom is a national award-winning columnist for Hungry Horse News. He lives in Kalispell.