Regarding marital bliss

Recently read a national survey report that indicated divorce rates are decreasing, and part of the reason is that young folks are waiting longer to get married. Speculation was, "extra time produces wiser choices." Whatever the reasons, that is a pleasing trend. Only five years ago I did a column about divorces, which was not so upbeat. This ran in September 2010:

Quote: Seems it is currently complex for some men and women to enter into a state of holy matrimony on a successful basis. A portion of our society has lost track of, "Love, Honor, and Cherish, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health." Increasing temptation along with convenient and easy outs are partly to blame.

The latest is surprising new business on the Internet. It's for buying your basic "divorce insurance." I'm not making this up. You can find it under "WedLockDivorceInsurance.com." The idea is to get cash money after a breakup, to use in starting over. I recalled a friend who lost two homes in bad marriages so his new plan for saving that trouble was just buying a house and then giving it to the next woman he fell for. It's guys like that who are probably buying this new insurance, which became available last August.

According to Time magazine, the policies begin at $16 a month for every $1,250 of coverage. To keep people from taking out the insurance and then getting divorced right away, there are special cost provisions during the first four years. They gave an example, "If a policy holder who bought 10 units got divorced after 10 years, he or she would have paid in $19,188 and would get a payout of $27,500." The company founder, John Logan, says he already has customers paying over $1,000 a month in premiums ... those probably do not include Tiger Woods.

Parents concerned about their daughter's or son's choice of a mate can buy the insurance but they cannot be the beneficiaries. That has to be one or both of those being wed. I know First Wife Iris' father was not overly pleased when his daughter chose to get hitched to an almost penniless disk jockey recovering from parachuting injuries, but I know in my heart he wouldn't have bought her any of that crazy divorce insurance. In today's society, however, quite a few worried fathers are doing just that.

Another gimmick! Last year, 2009, a news report said several Internet sites had created a multi-million dollar business by promoting and providing "untrackable extramarital affairs." The biggest one according to Time was "AshleyMadison.com" and Ashley's male CEO said their business tripled the day after Father's Day because, "That's when many men are feeling underappreciated." He also reported, "An increased interest from neglected wives and girlfriends after Valentines Day." That's what he said.

Not all stuff on the Internet is distressing. A friend gave me a story he found last week. I'll recall as best as I can: Three male pals got married. First one to a girl from Georgia and he told her he wanted the bed made and supper on time each day. On the second day he could see the bed was made but supper a little late and she was reprimanded. Third day, things were fine.

The next pal picked a girl from California and told her he wanted a warm breakfast each morning and the furniture kept tidy. Second day they had a hot breakfast but he could see the furniture was a bit askew so he brought that to her attention. Third day, everything was right up to snuff.

The last pal chose a Montana lass, and let her know he expected the laundry done regularly, carpet vacuumed each day, and all meals home cooked. On the second day he couldn't see that any of these things were done so he repeated his orders. On the third day, the swelling had gone to where he could see well enough out of his left eye to make a peanut butter sandwich.

G. George Ostrom is a national award-winning columnist for Hungry Horse News. He lives in Kalispell.