The 1995 rutting column

Tis near the time, at this latitude, when male whitetail deer become irrational and ornery as they seek favor with the females of the species. They may charge unprovoked, fight with a stump, or dash hither and yon making strange noises. 

We have all witnessed similar behavior among males of the human species, mostly after several beers; however, there is no set time of the year for human rutting rituals, which causes problems; but, it does create year-round employment for lawmen and judges.

“The rut” of the whitetail buck only lasts a few weeks and it mainly creates a situation where hunters may nail a trophy without help of any particular skills. Along with the foolish behavior of the bucks, there is also an element of danger. Attacks on humans do happen.

A large strong man of my acquaintance once heard cries for help coming from an enclosed pen where a big buck was kept. The caretaker had gone into the pen and been attacked. My friend went to the rescue and suffered near fatal injuries, mainly from horns piercing his lungs.

When younger, I shot a couple of bucks that almost ran down my rifle barrel. Was also charged on a few occasions by male homo sapiens who in an irrational condition believed me to be a rival for some nearby female. Have always possessed a clear understanding of discretion, the value of foot speed, and art of friendly negotiation; however, in one case where these natural defenses failed, I was forced to go out behind the VFW club to paw the ground and engage in mating battle. After about five minutes of combat, my antagonist called for a breather and suggested the doe involved was not worth the effort we were expending. We matched coins to see who would buy the next beer.

This case history would seem to indicate human males are not quite as serious about the rutting as deer, but then … who knows what it would be like if “the season” only came around once a year.

In the past, this newspaper printed photos of bucks that had died when their horns became locked together in combat over a female. We know this is not an uncommon occurrence and writers always call it a “tragedy of the wild.” In spite of the human rut lasting year around, some males still lock themselves in combat that sends at least one of the rutters to the morgue and the other to the state pen. Writers call these happenings “crimes of passion.”

I have sometimes wondered where in the vast years of evolution, women lost the natural annual cycles of estrus. Biochemistry scientists know that the mating urge in women is brought on by a female hormone, estrone (C12 H22 O2). It seems to me that with our current knowledge of biochemistry, it would not be a huge problem to get them all back into a more reasonable mating cycle. Say one or two weeks a year. Think of the time and energy that both sexes could devote to other productive pursuits. Everyone could then look forward to the annual rut … even more than Thanksgiving.

On second thought, forget it. I just saw the big picture. Thousands of men with swollen necks running after every female in sight, fighting with trees, stumps, and anything that moved, running hither and yon, making strange noises. IT IS probably BETTER … to have that sort of things occurring nightly in the parks and pubs.

Good hunting everyone.

G. George Ostrom is a national award-winning columnist for Hungry Horse News. He lives in Kalispell.