One more 'thou shalt' needed

Because of the circumstances, I drive by this Ten Commandments Park on a daily basis along U.S. 2 in Columbia Heights. And with this stressful display of “thou shalts,” I am bewildered why a good one is missing. Perhaps the commanders were too busy bearing false witness against Thomas Jefferson, our greatest statesman, and just forgot.

This missing billboard could be the most colorful and illustrious ever known, and like a circus needing a clown, would complete the show. The congruity of the thing would be glorious, replete with fire, evil-doer and appropriate verse.

Down through history, belief in mysticism and the supernatural were common ideas in all cultures, even in our own beginnings. I once read several historical accounts of the witch burning craze in our early New England era, and a verse that would condone such behavior, taken from a holy writ.

Unless since removed, it says, “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live,” and is found in Exodus 22:18. It was clear, from historical accounts, that burning bad females was even more popular than vigilante hangings in our early West.

Pretty gruesome. But it gets worse. According to one writer, an estimate of 260,000 presumed witches were tortured, hanged or burnt at the stake. That’s pretty damn bad. It was also obvious that heat and fire were the preferred visual attractions.

These barbarous events took place back in the 13th century and ended in the 16th. Back then, those people with puritanical ideas, based on strict orthodox religion, were no one to mess with.

Blasphemy was also a serious crime in those days, so what do you think they would do to an old guy like me? Once again, the stake was preferred, although the editor might get off easy and just be hanged.

Furthermore, if the reader has the shoes for it, I suggest a walk down the bloody hallways of our early history and listen to the screams of helpless burning women, condemned for no other reason than belief in the supernatural.

Of course, there were many other atrocities committed because of word and authority taken from some holy writ. And men like Thomas Jefferson were not yet around to confront this utter nonsense.

Nonetheless, this frightful reminder of the past still stands up along U.S. 2, and to usher in more glamour, we need the missing feature attraction — a huge billboard embossed with fire, flaming witch tied to the stake, verse below: “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.”

Now, folks, that’s a real billboard, a true compliment to the other commands and the worn-out authority they once controlled.

With all sincerity, this new Ten Commandments Park needs work. The clown is missing. If the commanders would allow me, I would design and erect a display as described, at my expense. Otherwise, they could at least be kind enough to remove the image of my beloved Jefferson from the premises. Then I might hush.

Rick Koerner lives in Columbia Falls.