Missing fish and missing books

Late February and early March generally provide the slowest ice fishing of the winter. Pre-spawn activities dominate. Trout, perch and northern pike seem more concerned with movies and dancing than with romantic maggot dinners.

And kokanee salmon, which fired up hard-water anglers in January, have gone into their annual “good-one-day-stinks-the next” bite that will continue until the final weeks of ice.

Some years, about this time, I attempt to muse humorously (try to be funny) watching a motionless bobber while solving the world’s problems. Not this year. 

While fiscal cliffs, sequestrations and lack of Twinkies occupy cerebral space in many anglers, I’m peeved about missing books. You know, books that were loaned but never returned. Special books. My favorite books. Signed books.

Recently I offered to loan Paul Quinett’s “Pavlov’s Trout” to a friend. Unfortunately, the last loanee never returned it.

Quinett, a psychologist, is one of the country’s most noted suicide prevention experts. He also wrote one of the best books I’ve ever read about what motivates anglers and why fishermen lie. You, not me. If you have my signed copy of “Pavlov’s Trout,” please return it.

I’m also missing Ted Kerasote’s “Merle’s Door.” Signed, of course. Already promised to someone. The best “dog” book I’ve ever read, “Merle’s Door” investigates the unique human-dog relationship and even “how dogs think.”

If you’ve ever shared life with a dog, I guarantee you’ll be nodding your head and smiling as you read this book. Read “Merle’s Door” and you’ll forget Marley. If you have my signed copy of “Merle’s Door,” please return it.

OK, OK, I can’t resist slipping in just one “it would be a better world if ...” — if there were a large video screen in the parking lot at Jo-Ann’s in Kalispell so we husbands can watch ESPN.