We can't prevent tragedy by outlawing guns

The tragedy that took place in Newtown, Conn., can only be described as horrific in its merciless savagery. In recent times until now, groups of children in the U.S. have not been the principle targets of such violent attacks. They embody an innocence that simply has never been the focus of violent criminals and never before have they been the recipients of such vitriol.

This of course prompts the question, why? Why in this day and age of human enlightenment are such heinous crimes not only happening, but happening with alarming frequency and greater depravity?

Certainly many will be quick to blame the ownership of firearms in the U.S. as the culprit; calling for bans on some, if not most firearms. Demonizing firearms is always popular because it deflects attention away from identifying an actual cause.

In truth, firearms are no more the problem than vehicles are when someone is killed by a drunk driver. But it’s much easier to blame an inanimate object than to face the alternative; that there is something intrinsically wrong with us as a society. According to the intellectually enlightened, humanity should have “evolved” far beyond these senseless acts of violence. And yet it’s clear that violence is only escalating. In reality, evil has and will continue to exist throughout man’s history; however the manner in which it appears to be manifesting itself in our young people is relatively new.

What has changed in our sociology that could explain the increase of such diabolical behavior in our young people? The following three factors provide a premise for why this and other similar events may have happened in recent years: The devaluing of human life, the exploitation of violence, and the advent of mutual isolation.

Over the past 50 years there has been a steady decline in the value we as a society place on human life. By our actions and through our policies we have taught several generations of children that human life is of no particular significance. Plant, animal and aquatic life are all the same. It’s all relative.

Our youth see criminals receiving insignificant sentences for taking the life of another and mothers choosing to end a life, either because of hardship or convenience without any apparent regret. We have cultivated this perverted value system and imposed it on our children fooling ourselves into believing that our young people don’t understand or comprehend the inequity of what we as a society have done.

Yet, they comprehend far more then we would like to believe, and they are impacted. This however, is not to suggest that what a few mentally or emotionally disturbed youths have done is indicative of the majority of our youth today, but it does underscore the familiar truth that as a society, “We reap what we sow.”

Humans are violent by nature. One needs only to observe young, unsupervised children to confirm this. Some would argue this is learned behavior and as such, is a product of their environment. Certainly the manner in which their violence manifests itself may be learned, but the nature itself lies within them.

Children do not have to be taught to be selfish, hurtful, and vindictive or to lie and steal. These are characteristic that both parents and educators endeavor to train children not to act upon. This is why discipline is employed in an effort to correct such behavior.

Our violent nature creates conflict within us; we fear violence and yet we are drawn to it. This macabre nature resides within each of us, albeit to veering degrees, and is continually exploited for monetary gain. We subject our children to inordinate amounts of gratuitous violence through TV, movies, video games and songs which are both violent and debasing. Is it any wonder then that they have become desensitized and value human life so little? Hollywood and the music and video game industry have perfected the use of violence to sell their wares, so we shouldn’t be surprised when some young people who are “at risk” are adversely affected.

The advent of mutual isolation — of all the three factors, if this one could be reversed or improved upon our young people could overcome the negative effects of the first two and stand a real chance of being stable, well-adjusted individuals. The following portion is not intended to be an indictment, but rather a commentary on the current status of the family nucleus within our society.

Children derive much of their identity, security and sense of significance from their families, especially their parents. When this structure is altered or damaged, it not only disrupts their development but also undermines their security. Regardless of their age, children will often isolate themselves in an effort to control their environment and create a sense of security.

Parents isolate themselves first from their spouse but then also from their children to varying degrees. Economic pressure escalates causing many single parents to work longer hours which translates to less time and energy to invest in their children. The parent that no longer lives with the children begins to isolate themselves by developing the notion that their children are “better off without them.”

This in turn cultivates feelings of guilt and despair which often leads to “self-medication.” Numerous studies have well-established the correlation between an altered family nucleus and juvenile delinquency that manifests itself in violent behavior.

The optimal family nucleus consists of a husband and wife who are the biological parents of their child(ren), living together in a loving and caring environment, helping their children navigate those influences that may be potentially detrimental to them specifically. With both parents involved, it’s much more likely that they would perceive a potential problem or be able to identify if their child is “at risk.”

This is not a subjective opinion or an ideology but rather historical fact that is substantiated by logic, reason and nature. This is not to say that some variations can’t be effective, only that they are not optimal for the balanced development of children and adolescence. Building and preserving the family nucleus is perhaps the single most important aspect within adolescent development.

With few exceptions, the success or failure of any marriage rests on the concerted and consistent efforts of both the husband and the wife. The erroneous, albeit popular, notion that says: “it’s not the quantity of time a parent spends with their child, but the quality of time that matters,” might sound good but it doesn’t translate to the reality of what a child really needs. Children need quantity and quality time from both parents.

Short and condensed power meetings may be sufficed for the business world but is vastly inadequate for children. They’re still learning, growing and maturing and require your time to help them process the knowledge and advice you are trying to impart to them. This is especially so for teenagers.

Pause for a moment to take inventory of your current emotions. Likely you’re feeling defensive, guilty, personally offended, indignant, perhaps even angry? Now, how much easier is it to redirect your emotions onto a perpetrator and a gun then to honestly assess that which aroused such emotions?

This rash of tragic shootings is symptomatic of the erosion that is occurring within the family nucleus throughout our country and the harsh reality is that you can’t prevent such tragedies from happening by outlawing firearms. Children being murdered in any form is tragic; however it’s sobering to note that far more children are killed each year by drunk drivers then by individuals who misuse firearms.

There is no single solution anymore then there is a single cause; however this should not deter us from making strides to implement positive changes within ourselves for the benefit of our children, our families and our society.

— Jeff Bailey lives in Whitefish