Living with teenagers can be stressful, but it's always interesting

Back when we just had a few young children, one of the comments made frequently to us, and usually was made when a toddler was acting up, was: “Oh, just wait ‘till they’re teenagers!” It seemed like people took pleasure in knowing that we had even harder times ahead.

Currently, we have a 23-year-old, a 17-year-old, and a 14-year-old, (and a couple more who think they’re teenagers.) We have found that the expression still applies — but with an entirely different connotation.

We have found that the teenage years can be a very fun and wonderful stage, with a few exceptions here and there.

Teenagers have a great sense of humor that can lighten up a tense atmosphere. Many times something has irritated me, but cracked up one of the teenagers. For example, one of the kids did the age-old prank of putting a rubber band around the kitchen sink sprayer. So when I turned on the faucet I was sprayed, confused...and mad. But Eliza busted up laughing. Her laughing made me laugh. Teens love to laugh — and what a great thing...at least most of the time.

One day Isaac came home from school with a paper I had to sign. It was basically a “your-kid-did-something-wrong” paper and the signature was to prove that your naughty kid showed it to you. In the section where the teacher writes down what the infraction was, it said “giggled in class and caused others to giggle.” I giggled as I signed the paper and told Isaac very sternly to never giggle in class again. He giggled as he said “Ok, sure mom.”

This was no laughing matter for sure. He lamented, “This is so stupid. I’m not going to have any good stories to tell my kids someday about when I got in trouble at school like Dad has.” Yeah, it’s true — Scott has some good stories. I tried to comfort my poor not-rebellious-enough teen: “It’s ok, there’s still time to do something actually bad.”

Scott and I are very grateful that we have not had serious trouble with our teenagers. But they are also “typical teens” in many ways. Just walk into their bedrooms. I dare you to find carpet. I walked into Isaac’s cave one day and looked around. It gave me hives. But I looked up at the ceiling and said to the boy, “Wow son! You’re ceiling is so spotless. It’s perfectly kept.”

He laughed and said, “Thanks Mom.”

He understood what I was getting at. Did he clean his room you wonder...Oh no. I cleaned his room for him one day; and when he got home from school I was so excited for him to see it, run downstairs, hug me and thank me and tell me I was the best Mom ever. He got home, went upstairs, ran back downstairs and started yelling, “Who cleaned my room?”

“I did!” I said with a big smile.

“Mom, why did you do that? Now I can’t find anything.” He stormed back upstairs.

You see, I had forgotten that he was a teenager, and teens organize all their things haphazardly on the floor.

Parents also tend to become the most un-cool people on the planet for most teenagers. I have been known to tell my children, “You have no idea how cool I...used to be!” I have to admit, it when push comes to shove, that most of my coolness disappeared when the children began to appear. My beloved cheerleading uniform — so totally cool in its day — is now considered by my children to be a costume.

Ugh. How did that happen?

So they tease us about not being cool. But you can tease a teen too. One day I was in the kitchen when Eliza came in and suddenly spit out something she was eating into her hand exclaiming “Eeeewwww. These are so gross.”

“What is it?” I asked.

She pointed to a bag on the counter, “Those cookies.”

“That’s because those are doggy treats” I said.

She started gagging and spitting and spewing. I couldn’t help but bust up over it. She ran to the sink and spit and drank water and spit and drank water. She was almost crying. That night I told Scott about it and for days every time he saw Eliza he teased her by barking like a dog.

We also have our share of teens who talk back, act disrespectful, spend money on dumb things, have dating issues, and come out dressed in something that you have to tell them to go to their closet and try again.

Life with teenagers is not always fun and there are sometimes tears and trials. But the rewards are wonderful. We believe that most teens need love, rules, and direction. Our teens have been smarter, more focused, more spiritual, and higher achievers than we were.

So if you have little kids...just wait ‘till they’re teenagers! Teens are fantastic.

Reichner writes a regular column for the Bigfork Eagle.