Another outhouse bites the dust

I don’t know why outhouses are the subject of so many stories. Maybe because they’re slowly disappearing from rural America, and even where they still exist, they have been replaced by indoor plumbing — even on the North Fork. Whatever the reason, there is one less outhouse on the North Fork today, and its demise is an interesting, and hilarious, story.

A Trail Creek summer resident went outside early one morning this week and immediately noticed that her frame outhouse was missing an entire wall. On closer examination, two walls had been ripped off the small building, and the firewood which had been in the otherwise unused outhouse was scattered on the ground.

Assuming the damage had been caused by a grizzly bear, the resident called neighbors on her portable radio to report the damage and then jumped in her car to drive to the nearest phone, at Polebridge, to call Fish, Wildlife and Parks bear specialist Tim Manley so he could deal with the bear before more damage was done.

Since it was a Sunday and any bear incident is somewhat exciting and had been announced on the radio, it didn’t take long for neighbors to arrive to view the damage.

The outhouse sat some 50 to 75 yards from the house at the base of a small hill, with a tree beside the door that was several times taller than the outhouse. Although unused as an outhouse for several years, it had sat beside the tree for many years, and by looking at it anyone would say it was an unlikely target for a lightning strike. But that’s what it was. Lightning was attracted to the metal roof, ignored two nearby buildings with higher metal roofs and even higher metal chimneys and multiple taller trees and struck the hapless, unused outhouse.

Too late to call off bear expert Tim Manley who arrived shortly after, towing a culvert-type bear trap. Despite being called out on a Sunday — not the first time — he was his usual friendly self and joined the collection of neighbors at the Hoilands’ where we all enjoyed Naomi Hoiland’s famous sticky buns and coffee or lemonade.

Of course, we also teased the owner of the destroyed outhouse and enjoyed the story she told of the simultaneous lightning and thunder the evening before that had nearly deafened her and caused her chimney to leak.

By Wednesday, the remains of the outhouse were cleaned up, the hole in the ground mostly filled up and only the story remains to join other memorable outhouse stories. Like Bonny Ogle sharing an outhouse with a mountain lion, and a tree falling on Elmer Benson’s, tearing off the door but leaving the seat intact.

See you in Polebridge on the Fourth!