Don't need no directions

If ever there was a contest for navigational prowess, I would be first in line. As a runner, former resident of Alaska and the mountains of Wyoming, and as a notoriously stereotypical male, I pride myself on being able to find my way around without asking directions…that is, until I tried to find the Water and Sewer District board meeting in Bigfork.

I'll admit, I cheated a bit by confirming the address and looking it up on Google Maps first. When it comes to work related destinations, I take no chances on being late and wanted to be sure I was there early enough to introduce myself.

According to the map, it was just a five-minute drive from my place on Holt Drive so I left about 15 or 20 minutes early and headed down Holt Drive toward what I thought was my final destination.

I ended up in a residential neighborhood near the Montana Athletic Club, a neighborhood I had yet to explore in the daylight. I thought it was a strange place to hold a meeting so I circled the neighborhood a few times to be sure.

I'm new to the area and had seen meetings held at people's homes before, so surely this was the right place.

I wasn't.

I should add at this point that I unknowingly looked like a pizza delivery guy, with my red shirt and waterproof laptop bag.

When I knocked on the door, a kid excitedly answered the door with expectations of dinner, but all I had with me was paperwork about sewage.

Their father was kind enough to draw me a map with a sort of turnaround near Electric Ave., yet another neighborhood I had somehow missed during my jogging tours of Bigfork.

By this time I was already late for the meeting but vowed never to admit that I got lost. Nobody was ever going to find out about this, and I was going to make sure of it by stopping at home to grab my GPS.

When I entered the address from my house, the annoying robotic voice told me I had arrived at my destination.

Fantastic. My handheld gadget that rivals the technology NASA used to put a man on the moon thinks my garage is where the Water and Sewer District holds their monthly meetings.

I pulled out of my garage, cursing the clock in my truck's dashboard that smugly glared that I was so late that the meeting was probably over.

At this point I just wanted to find the place so I could go to bed not feeling like a lost child, or even worse have my siblings back in Iowa catch wind of this.

I mocked myself while imitating my brother's voice as I pulled out of the drive way.

“You've faced down wolves in the Alaskan backcountry, been chased by moose in the Wind River Range, and accidentally circumnavigated Iowa City at marathon distances on foot with no glasses or water; but, you can't find a meeting place!”

Beep.

Turn right, 100 feet.

My GPS wasn't broken. The unmarked road near the stop light on Holt Drive wasn't a private driveway; it was the road I was looking for…it just wasn't on any maps.

Directly below my house, at the bottom of the hill, was the meeting place for the Water and Sewer District.

All the most advanced commercially available tracking equipment in the world, and I couldn't find a building that's literally visible from my patio.

Way to go, Matt, way to go.