Let's pay our politicians with goats and livestock as incentive to quickly do their job

In a couple of weeks the opening gavel will drop on a sparkling new legislative session. Judging from the current posturing it promises to be another attempt to roll the calendar back to the 1880s.

One of the Flathead Valley’s newly minted legislators recently requested his pay to be issued in silver or gold. His request reflects a suspicious lack of faith in the stability of the country and its monetary system — perhaps not the best attitude for a legislator.

It is obvious a change of thinking may be required.

So, I’ll propose a compromise to solve the problem of paying our honorable legislators.

It’s not hard currency or precious metal.

It’s not the continuation of their gold standard health care plan while they insist the rest of us need no health insurance.

It’s not the usual foreign and out-of-state junkets sponsored by those currying favor.

Instead, the solution for payment of the elected representatives of the people in our great, primarily agricultural state is in its products.

This session we should pay them all in goats.

And maybe issue a rooster to each legislator to wake him or her in time to get to committee meetings at the Capitol.

I’m not completely certain how the value of goats correlates to the value of a representative’s or senator’s labor, but surely a professor at one of our great universities must be able to provide us with a legislator-to-goat value conversion table.

Our legislators, always speaking proudly of their rural heritage, should be able to manage the care and feeding of a few common domesticated animals. To protect their income, they could pass a bill to make in-kind goat payment exempt from state tax. And a law could be passed to allow the grazing of goats on the Capitol lawn during the session. Come spring, when the legislators are finished legislating, they can have a roundup. Inmates from the ranch at Montana State Prison could be enlisted to help. CNN, Fox and the rest would love videos of real goat roping in Montana.

To accede to their wishes of not taking payment in mere money might seem drastic, but they take oaths to uphold the state Constitution and to look after our best interests, so we should look after their best interests in return.

In addition, payment in livestock might give them an incentive to quickly complete their tasks and return home — where they cannot wreck havoc on the rest of us.

Jack Jackson,

Bigfork