Bun pun fun
Back on the radio these days, I'm again going over "daily logs" which are now handled for all area law enforcement divisions through the new 911 Center. Have noticed an occasional report of that weird social behavior called "mooning," but something is missing. That activity seems to have lost its shocking power and media interest. Don't know if it's because society is more tolerant or the latest generation has moved on to other "fun stuff."
The possibility that mooning has become a lost art got me a bit perplexed, so I looked up back records from 25 years ago when we had year-round bare season. That was several years before the Flathead's most infamous "mooning event" started by several young ladies in downtown Whitefish during a wild New Year's Eve celebration. So I found a 1986 report of mine and thought it worth reviewing:
Up until a few years ago, "mooning" meant passing time aimlessly in a silly fashion due to infatuation with someone of the opposite sex. It certainly doesn't mean that anymore. It now connotes a form of exhibitionism wherein the "mooner" publicly reveals his or her bare behind ... sort of a back flash.
Getting to the bottom of this social phenomenon proved difficult but I tried. Asked a local mooner if his kind just rear up at people, or if they also gave backside salutes to inanimate objects. He replied that non human targets weren't much fun; however, but they might try mooning the moon itself sometime, providing the effort could be organized as a group session to help display afterthoughts about global warming.
State Rep. Marie Parents has introduced a bill in the Massachusetts Legislature to outlaw "public exposure of the human backside." She believes the innocent public mist be protected from the "psychological trauma of mooning." Some of Marie's colleagues are calling it the "Ban the Bun Bill," thus making her legislation the butt of many jokes. One senator said his group was going to ignore the bill by just turning the other cheek.
Mooning is not specifically mentioned under statutes covering indecent exposure here in Montana, Massachusetts or any other state that I can find. This fact has been a nude awakening for law enforcement officers across the country. One local cop told me they have prosecuted a few local mooners, but they did it under disorderly conduct laws. He said, "We've really got to catch ‘em with their pants down, otherwise there is a problem with identification, simply because witnesses are not good at describing some things they observe."
One of this county's leading public defenders says he hasn't had a mooning case yet, but if he gets one he'll probably bring in a psychologist to testify his client's behavior is a compulsive act, manifesting a split personality. He is anxious for a test case wherein a defendant could legally "sit on" the primary evidence.
I asked one of our state representatives if there was any talk of a "Bun Bill" for our next legislative session and if he had a stand on the matter. He said he thought the worst was behind us, then just mumbled something about there being two sides to the issue.
All my research has failed to reveal where the bottom line will be drawn on this mooning business, but a majority think the end is in sight.
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That's the way it was 25 years ago. Maybe the worst really is behind us.
G. George Ostrom is a national award-winning Hungry Horse News columnist. He lives in Kalispell.