Art of being good hosts and guests

The Flathead Valley is one of the top vacation destinations in the United States and the people of the Valley are incredible hosts. Our visitors are exposed to magnificent scenery, one of the most beautiful national parks and superb fishing. Sometimes visitors are content to merely sit and visit with old (and new) friends.

At the same time, numerous modern communicative technologies have given us suburb methods of communication and there are times when this actually interferes with careful hosting of friends.

A good friend visits our home every two to three months and stays for several days each time. It is necessary for him to maintain contact with his office in his home state. This is accomplished by the use of a cell phone and occasionally with the "Blackberry."

He carries a laptop computer that is used to organize activities and transmit documents. The result is an almost constant stream of electronic communication that interrupts normal friendly conversations with his friends.

Is he being a good guest? Is it possible he could delay this communication to restricted times that would not interfere?

Of course we, as hosts, also have access to the modern electronic marvels.

Can we, as caring hosts, restrict our outgoing messages to specific times? Can we turn off our cell phones to restrict incoming calls from interfering with normal entertaining and good conversation. I think so. It reflects being a good host or hostess.

Another recent visitor, an older woman who had driven 1,200 miles to get to the Flathead Valley, within minutes announced she had to text message relatives to let them know she had safely arrived. This resulted in nearly 30 minutes of text messaging to at least six relatives and this, in turn, resulted in a number of return text messages from the recipients.

While all of this was going on, the host family stood around trying not to appear to be listening in or appearing inquisitive about the conversation out of courtesy.

Could all of this have been handled though a single pre-arranged contact just saying she had arrived safely? I think so.

Modern technology has given us marvelous toys by which we can communicate. There are almost too many to use and remember. More show up daily.

Consider, as an example, the modern list of communicative methods: the cell phone, the BlackBerry, the iPod, the iPhone, the iPad, the Skype, the text messenger, the abbreviated e-language and the Palm Pilot.

This is not to ignore the e-mail that has largely replaced our post office in transmitting mail and hundreds of unasked-for advertisements.

The list goes on and it will probably not stop.

As hosts and guests we will continue to use these marvels of science but we must not let them interfere with common good sense and our ability to properly entertain our friends and visitors.

Dukelow is a resident of Somers.