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Lena's First Kiss and Mike's Uniform

| December 31, 2008 11:00 PM

"Vas joost tickled pink” to get new “Ole and Lena” book for Christmas from Margie Dornfeld. Margie was born in Minot, N.D., thus has been a deep appreciation and understanding of the Scandahoovian sense of humor. She is the one who bought me a hat that says, “I’m Not Norwegian, but Am Taking Pills For It.”

In the new book, Ole told Sven,  “Every time I tink about Lena’s gravy, I get a lump in my throat.”

“Da trouble vitt doing nutting,” sez Uncle Bjorn, “is dat yew never know vhen you’re done.”

My son Clark padded this philosophy by adding, “… and you can’t take a break.”

Also from the Ole and Lena book — So Lena asked, “Ole Honey, am I da first girl yew ever kissed?’

To which Ole answered, “Now that yew mention it, yew do look familiar!”

Uncle Bjorn says, “Yew should never do your very best, cuz den dere’s no room for improvement.”

It’s disgusting! There he is standing ramrod straight, with his clothes fitting perfectly. What bothers

me is those clothes are a Korean War, U.S. Army pilot’s uniform, but the picture was taken last month. Apparently some guys are more puny than others, never really muscling-up after leaving the service and  … my friend, Mike Strand, may be an example.

About 40 years ago, I was honored to speak in Kalispell on Veteran’s Day at the “Doughboy Statue” on Main Street. It was sort of embarrassing. Even though I had only been out of the service 20 years, still a youthful forty-year-old … the uniform didn’t fit too well. Couldn’t get it buttoned. Part of that problem was the uniform I came home in had been tailored skin tight for a trim 20-year-old kid. It was made of wool so had undergone shrinkage while stored here in the

Flathead where the large lake nearby creates excess humidity. A third factor was the fact that I had become a larger person. Some of “the larger” might not have been pure muscle but the fact that I had “filled out” and dispelled any thoughts about my being a puny ex-G.I.

I’m not saying Mike Strand is “puny,” however, it is obvious he hasn’t really worked at “filling out.”

Get quite a bit of correspondence from people far away who either take this paper, read my books, or have met me someplace in Glacier Park mountains. Got this wonderful card the day before Christmas:

“Hi George, My wife Ann and I met you in 1999 in Glacier on the Red Rock Trail. You were so kind —  autographed your wildlife book and gave it to us. I bought your Glacier Secrets Books. Though I live in Ohio, I’ve been to Glacier 14 times in 17 years and I thoroughly love Glacier — love to climb there — Jackson, Merritt, Cleveland, Rising Wolf. And I thank-you for your kindness, your books  — they have inspired me to have the greatest experiences of my life! Am very interested in Floral Park.

With Love, Brad Ogg”

Many people I’ve met through Glacier Park experiences express touching, genuine appreciation, but only a few sign their cards or letters “with love.” That’s why I’m going to write a letter to Brad and Ann and try to sell them a copy of my DVD.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

G. George Ostrom is a Kalispell resident and a national-award winning Hungry Horse News columnist.