War on Weight

The War on Terror may be costing billions of dollars, but a much more dangerous and costly plague is sweeping the United States - obesity.

In the past 10 years, the number of obese children in grade school has doubled. The number of obese teens has nearly tripled. Adults preach the benefits of exercise, yet it seems everywhere you turn there are empty parks, empty ball fields, empty playgrounds. Kids just aren't as active. Couple an XBox addiction to unhealthy eating habits, and the outcome is a health nightmare for an entire country.

Unfortunately, adults aren't setting a great example. Look no further than The Heart Attack Grill in Tempe, Ariz. Waitresses in nurse outfits use wheelchairs to carry customers in and out of the restaurant.

The latest and greatest item on the menu?

The Quadruple Bypass Burger. The giant burger contains four slabs of beef weighing a total of two pounds, three cheese layers, four bacon rashers, lettuce and tomato. All that beef and bun come up to an 8,000 calorie meal.

And don't forget a side order of Flatliner fries cooked in pure lard.

A spokesman for the restaurant said: "You have to be a real man to dine here."

Actually, you have to be terminally stupid.

The average person would survive quite well on 2,500 calories per day. This one burger accounts for three whole days of sustenance.

I never understood the stories of people who grew to be half a ton. Didn't something click when they finally realized that their house was a little snug? Didn't a friend ever stop them and say, "Gee Bob, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but you are huge, man!"

One of my previous jobs required a lot of writing about health issues, and Kalispell Regional Medical Center's Jim Oliverson told me that people are living longer but not healthier. The coming obesity epidemic will crush this nation financially.

Think about it. Huge numbers of huge people requiring long-term medical care that they can't afford. We'll have a depleted work force because we'll have a nation of sedentary, overweight citizens unable to walk without breathing heavily, let alone perform labor.

Less people contributing in taxes and more people requiring government support.

Great. We'll watch our take home pay dwindle so geniuses can stuff their faces with 8,000 calorie burgers before being fork-lifted into their giant vans and checking in to the hospital.

Countless medical problems are linked back to carrying too much weight. Heart disease, diabetes, cancer, arthritis … the list goes on and on. And how about the desire to simply live a decent life? What happened to that?

Who thinks it's a great time to pause at the top of stairs to catch their breath? Are people so bored with life that it's not worth experiencing? I guess that's the beauty of television - everything from sports to sex to travel without any effort.

Or maybe it's just a lack of discipline and self-control. Believe me, I know. I had two pieces of pumpkin pie today, and I only stopped there because I was in public. (It was really, really good.)

Whatever the reason, the growing number of growing waists is a growing problem, one that will have devastating effects on our country.

So let's all pause and put our forks down. We've had enough, I'm sure.