Unbelievable but true stories
Sometimes news stories coming in over the wires, or I should say, "through the computers", are so far out it is difficult believing the facts are correct. Nowadays crazy acts and even crazier statements are getting more common, both in the government and in the citizen world.
Last Monday morning all media in Montana with AP service received the following story:
"HELENA, MONT. (AP) … FINDING YOUR CAR HAS BEEN TOWED FROM A PARKING PLACE IS A BIG ANNOYANCE, AND THE STATE OFFICIALS ARE LOOKING FOR PEOPLE TO RESOLVE COMPLAINTS.
"THE MONTANA HIGHWAY PATROL AND THE ATTORNEY GENERAL ARE SEEKING VOLUNTEERS TO SERVE ON THE 'TOW TRUCK COMPLAINT RESOLUTION COMMITTEE'. (I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.) THE COMMITTEE HANDLES COMPLAINTS FROM PEOPLE WHOSE VEHICLES WERE TOWED BY A COMPANY THE PATROL CALLED.
"MANY OF THE COMPLAINTS STEM FROM WHAT VEHICLE OWNERS ARE CHARGED FOR TOWING.
"THE COMMITTEE INCLUDES REPRESENTATIVES OF THE TRUCKING, TOW AND INSURANCE INDUSTRIES. A MEMBER OF THE HIGHWAY PATROL, AND A REPRESENTATIVE OF THE PUBLIC."
That's it! Can you imagine what kind of person would volunteer to serve on a committee where every human coming through the door is mad enough to chew nails. Their car or truck was towed away and they had to pay big money, maybe a hundred and fifty dollars or more towing charge, to get it back. Perhaps Mike the Attorney General thinks there are all sorts of civilian people in Montana who are eager to take their valuable time for listening to other distraught fellow citizens rant and rave about the injustice of the system. I know at least one guy who isn't going to be serving on the "Tow Truck Complaint Committee," and I'm pretty sure his wife Iris won't either.
If there are some of you readers who think you'll volunteer for this exciting work, I have a World War II steel army helmet and a used flack jacket you could acquire for a modest sum… cash in advance.
One other thing "Mr. Attorney General Mike, " taking the guff that comes from people who run afoul of the law has always been part of all law enforcement jobs. IT GOES WITH THE TERRITORY. Surely you're not thinking of starting another committee to "resolve" complaints from car thieves and drunk drivers….are ya? Well …. their getting in trouble with the law is also a "big annoyance."
Maybe some day we'll even have a "Death Row Complaint Resolution Committee."
For the next wild story we have to go across the seas to England, where the London city government is working on a permit system to let transsexuals use bathrooms of their choice. Apparently, men who dress up in women's clothes can have problems when going into either "Women's" or "Men's" toilets …. and vice versa. Sexual harassment? Could be.
(I'm not making this up.)
Under proposed new city ordinances, cross-dressing men, and apparently women, could get a permit to use the bathroom of their choice by filling out papers and having two affidavits saying they have been living as a woman, a man, for at least two years, whether they have been medically altered or not. The affidavits must be signed by a licensed social counselor and a doctor.
Why two years? The story I read doesn't say but one of the guys at the radio station said it probably is to hinder male peeping toms, who would dress up like women to legally sneak into "ladies rooms.
Announcers said there were over 24,000 people at the Grizzly vs. Mass football game in Missoula last Friday night. Largest sports crowd ever gathered in Montana? Some said so. What was the largest crowd of people ever gathered in the state? Another unanswered question; however I recalled law officers estimating over 30,000 at the Missoula Airport on September 22, 1954, when President Eisenhower came to dedicate the new Smokejumper Center. That was the day when this, then 26-year-old, made a demonstration parachute jump that changed his life forever. Told that story here in the column some years ago.