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A letter from the editor

| October 5, 2005 11:00 PM

The big, fat lie

At the annual Methodist Church bazaar Saturday, I was humbly snapping pictures of shoppers looking over the plethora of hand-crafted goods.

During this time, I took the photograph of a lovely woman who promptly—and perhaps jokingly—told her friend that she was eager to escape the annoying person taking her picture.

In turn I told the woman she had hurt my feelings. She looked surprised that A) I was offended, and B) That I would voice the feeling.

She explained that she was just joking and that she didn't think she photographed well. She was wrong. She was a beautiful lady who has suffered from society's rendering of the perfect woman.

I've gotta tell you, it felt really good to tell her my feelings. Maybe I was annoying her, but her poor self image annoys me. She may not have been a young woman, but she was still vibrant.

Women are such interesting creatures. We are relentlessly subjected to a constant barrage of "You simply aren't good enough." Creams that will make you look younger, pills that will help you melt off pounds, make-up to disguise all your facial flaws, high heels to make you look taller, push-up bras to make your boobs look bigger—the list is endless. Why do we buy into all this crap?

Now that I am on my soapbox, it behooves my argument to divulge that I, too, have horrible self esteem. When I was a little girl, I was fat. No question about it—fat. And I was told this fact time and time again by schoolmates who were bullies.

I am now a grown woman who still believes she is that fat girl. In my adulthood, I was told by a boyfriend—during a heated argument—that I am fat and ugly. Wow.

Relentless, isn't it?

But as I approach 30, I am really sick and tired of it. Sure, I carry some extra pounds, but I am one of the healthiest people I know. And, having lived through all the "fat years," I can tell you this—I am a strong, aware woman because of it.

This awareness is a dangerous thing to all of the cosmetic companies, for I can tell you that everything they are trying to sell you is a bunch of lies.

Big, fat, ugly lies—just like the ones I heard in my youth.

Every woman alive can be beautiful if she believes it. I still don't believe it, but at least I am trying. To be your best self is the ultimate beauty, and that comes from inside. Cliche, I know, but it is also true.

Woman need to lift each other up. When I see a woman who strikes me in some way, I tell her so. This takes her completely off guard, for we are all so used to hearing negative. Usually in shock and awe, the woman will reply, "Aren't you sweet." Well, no I'm not. I'm honest.

Honestly, I come from a long line of big ladies, no waifs in my family tree. And that is fine with me. My momma is a big woman, so is my auntie, but they are a couple of formidable babes who can fascinate you with the turn of a phrase.

My two best girlfriends in college were skinny and very aesthetically pleasing, but they also had strength, courage, intelligence and wisdom. Those qualities are what is important. Not your size. Not your age. Not your hairstyle. Not your skin clarity. Not your bra size.

Women need to get the hell over it, take a good look in the mirror and say, "Damn, you are one hot female."

In Katrina fund-raising news, I am so pleased to report that the benefit garage sale at the Flathead County Fairgrounds this weekend has raised nearly $22,000 thus far.

The organizers should be so proud of their efforts.

Here at the Eagle, we drew names for our portrait-raffle fund-raiser. The winners are Betty Reed and Donna Lawson. Congratulations, ladies, and thanks to all who gave to this very important cause.