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Bigfork Eagle editorial

| April 20, 2005 11:00 PM

Death at the hands of a child

In North Carolina this week a 9-year-old boy killed his mother and then himself with a family gun. In Minnesota, a 16-year-old killed 10 people, including his own grandparents, on March 21. Don't think it can happen here? Think again.

What goes so terribly awry when children become killers? How can we prevent a Columbine-like situation in the Flathead Valley?

First, and foremost, we must recognize that children are becoming more sophisticated at an earlier age. Attri-bute it to the media, the cyber evolution, human evolution, whatever.

Just know that kids are complex creatures with a full array of emotions, thoughts, intentions and needs.

Kids are drinking earlier, experimenting with drugs earlier, having sexual intercourse earlier, and pondering violence earlier. Even in a remote little village called Bigfork, yes, this is the case.

We, as adults, can deny it, hide from it, or acknowledge it and try to deal it. We must analyze what makes violence acceptable and killing fun?

The media and television are easy targets. Video games, heavy metal music, action films, yadda, yadda, yadda. Scapegoats. Truly, parents, teachers, child-care providers, etc., have a resp-onsibility to limit violent or sexual stimuli.

In addition to establishing limitations, parents need to talk to their kids-really talk to them, not just partake in daily banter about soccer practice or math tests. Get involved in your child's life.

Yes, they may hate you for it, be embarrassed by your doting attentions, tell their friends you are a pain in the butt-but in the long run you have created a solid foundation of trust and safety.

Children who commit violent acts often live in fear, are exposed to family violence, feel helpless, are abused physically or emotionally, or have damaged self-esteem.

There are warning signs that an adolescent may be prone to future violence including:

?substance abuse

?past violent behavior

?aggression

?social stress

?mental disorders

?access to and use of weapons

?focused anger

?low degree of resilience

?lack of empathy

Now this is not to say if your child exhibits one of these behaviors they will turn into a cold-blooded murderer. They are factors that contribute to violent behavior.

It's not easy being a kid. Children are exposed to more pressures than we were at their age. Times are more complicated. Temptations are more numerous.

You cannot hover over your child to insulate them against the world, but you can understand that they are little people who need guidance to succeed.