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A toast to Ann Miller

by G. George Ostrom
| July 13, 2004 11:00 PM

When she was just a girl in her 60s, Ann Miller wrote a wonderful little story for my newspaper, the Kalispell Weekly News, and I published it. Ann has thanked me down through the years for giving her a start in the writing business, but it was she who did me a favor. Any editor worth his salt would have been foolish not to ask a person with her talent to do something every week. Ann began writing regularly, and her wonderful column added a distinct flavor, which contributed toward making the Kalispell News become the largest weekly in the state. She won Newspaper Association Awards in the process.

Now my dear friend Ann continues to entertain and enlighten us all by writing succinctly and wisely about the human condition she has carefully observed for over ninety years. Besides the "Thumbprints" enjoyed each week in the Hungry Horse News, she did eight years of writing of the Montana Journal and continues a column at the Lutheran home for the "Home Gazette." Going back to the things she wrote for me 28 years ago, Ann Miller's philosophizing and observations should be collected, sorted, and put in a book for safe keeping. Not just because she is a gracious and entertaining lady, but because she is one helluva writer with wisdom she is willing to share.

Must be true. Every media in the country has had something to say recently about obesity being the number one health problem in the USA.; however, we Americans are not just getting fatter, we're getting bigger. I mean taller, wider and bigger boned. Remember my column about the Seattle ferries putting in new seats because of the bigger behinds? It means the ferries can't carry as many people as before.

Because of bigger people, there are markets being created for the products they need, including seat belt extenders, larger office chairs and outsized umbrellas. A company started in 1988 is called Amplestuff and now has around 300 products tailored for "heavy people." Just read about at least two companies who are manufacturing oversized caskets. One of those makes the biggest casket on the market. It is 8 feet long and 52 inches wide.

Most bathroom scales top out at 350 pounds, so people bigger than that have a tough time getting weighed. Sunday's Parade Magazine features a column by the "world's smartest woman," Marilyn vos Savant. She recently pointed out that a person over 350 pounds can stand with their feet on two scales at the same time and the resulting readings added together give an accurate weight. She also said you could use this multi-scale system to weigh a grand piano—or whatever. (For those who don't know, Marilyn vos Savant is listed in the Guinness World Records as having the highest known I.Q.)

One of the most jolting stories to come down the AP wires this past week was the revelation that the National Park Service has spent $6 million since 1996 studying "whether snowmobiles should be allowed in Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Parks." The release says the SIX MILLION DOLLARS was spent for "4,200 pages of studies and analyses, 90,000 pages of related documents, and responses to more than half a million comments from the public."

The release also said the Park Service was hard-pressed to establish an official stand on this issue by December and—"need more studies."

After stewing about this for the past 30 minutes, I think it is time for my "evening medicine."

G. George Ostrom is the news director of KOFI radio and a Hungry Horse News columnist.